You can be angry go for it no one can tell you how to feel. When I found out TLOU was playstation exclusive it dimmed some of my excitement even though I was still excited for the game.
But if you think Square Enix owes you something because you’re a fan of the franchise I don’t know what to say buddy. It’s not like Microsoft held them at gunpoint and forced them to make TR an Xbone exclusive.
You’re cool anonski. Everything I ask people to tag something I don’t want to see the first thing people say is “WHY DON’T YOU LIKE THEM?” instead of “what can I tag it so you don’t have to see it?” The fact that I don’t want to see something from people who I mututally follow and mututally tag for should be more important than any personal reasons I have to not want to see something.
Does it really matter why I don’t want to see it?
You’re good anonski!
PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS IF TALK OF ANATOMY, TRANSITION, NEEDLES OR DYSPHORIA TRIGGERS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just want to preface this with a a couple of notes. Testosterone is serious business. Once you start taking T, there will be some changes that are completely permanent. It’s okay to be afraid of it, because that means you’ve done or are doing your research, and that is so incredibly important when it comes to physically transitioning. I also want to make note that every single person has a different response to T! It’s all about your body, man. T will not cure any problems you have beforehand, INCLUDING issues with accepting and loving your body.
It’s extremely important to talk to someone who is licensed to guide you through the mental and physical process as well as your own personal support system. In the state of Florida you have to get a very, very specific letter written to WPATH standards by a licensed psychologist. I was already presenting/passing in public before I started taking T, had ‘come out’ to family, friends, teachers, etc. and it still took me about 3~4 months to get my letter, which is a good thing. This isn’t a decision to rush into.
This is going to be personal, so if you don’t want to know details about me please don’t read this.
Okay, I’m done with the safety stickers.
I started T July 1st, 2013, so I’m coming up on my year anniversy soon! The first major effects of T take at least THREE MONTHS to set in. It isn’t a miracle cure and it’s a lot of trial and error with your endocrinologist (and by proxy a lot of blood testing) to get your dosage right.
Alright. The first thing I’m going to talk about is BODY HAIR. Before transition I could barely, sort of grow some peach fuzz, and had generic stomach, genital, legs, arms and armpit hair. Now, I am what the gay bros call a bear cub. I have full chest hair from the sides of my chest, think there your shoulder is but down to chest level, to the center. It connects with my stomach hair as well. I have butt hair. A lot of it. I don’t like it but my girlfriend thinks it’s cute so idc. I also have lower back hair and very light upper back hair. I fucking hate my back hair, but it isn’t a real problem since I’m blonde and don’t need to shave it until it comes in thick. I’ve also noticed more hair on my arms.
As far as facial hair goes, I am about one or two steps away from a full beard, which is awesome (will try to get some pics up this week if you want) and I have a mustache. Like I said, my hair is blonde/ginger so it grows in lighter (unfortunately) but my facial hair is highly noticeable.
My hairline is a bit higher. Some guys can get male patterned baldness, but I do not have anything like that.
VOICE!!! The exciting part tbh. My voice is way lower, and has finally stopped cracking. You’re basically going through puberty. You know those shitty feel good family movies with the blank-teen year old son gets embarrassed and then he goes to yell in protest and his voice just CRACKS. I’ve had that happen like half a dozen time. I have also been told quite rudely by my girlfriend that my voice is too deep for Ke$ha, but fuck that man my sexy deep voice goes good with any music artist (I AM LOOKIN AT YOU ALICIA KEYS I CAN’T DO THAT SHIT MANG)
yes, genitals. Skip this if you’re grossed out alright it’s cool.
Your junk is going to grow, significantly. it gets bigger and you are turned on ALL of the time. If you rub against your shorts the wrong way, you are turned on. If a light breezes goes past you, you are turned on. You cannot escape from it. You will grow some nice forearm/wrist muscles. Own it man.
Some dudes kind of get too dry, and others get way too wet. There isn’t a fun middle ground, so expect either or. Your ‘shark week’ will stop after about 2~3 months.
I have always had a strong jaw line, but I think my face shape has changed a little. I’ve put on some weight because of other issues, but I still have obviously more defined features, especially around the jaw area.
my skin is more oily. I break out a lot more easier. My palms are roughly, and as a general whole my skin is less soft than it used to be. My “scent” is different. When I sweat, I smell a lot more musky, and have to avoid musky cologne and body wash at all costs or I smell like a high school locker room
My arms are more cut. My neck is thicker. My shoulders, which were broad before, are like a goddamn skyline with the added muscle. Body weight has shifted slightly and a hold fat in different areas. Stockier looking. I eat more because I feel hungry/more energy.
EMOTIONSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS AND YOU!
I am much more aggressive. No matter what temperament you have you will become more aggressive. I’m a pretty mellow guy but there is a noticeable change. You will have a shorter fuse, and your fuse will be more explosive. PERSONALLY: I can notice when something that used to be fine is going to anger me. I have to watch myself sometimes, but I don’t lash out any more than before, and have actually found better self-control. The first 2~3 months were kind of rough but you learn to reel it back in.
Your sex drive will be through the roof, and I’m told you will be more dominant in bed. I don’t feel like discussing my sex life.
It’s easier to make decisions. I’ve always been able to compartmentalize my thoughts well, but it became easier. Emotions and feelings are easier to separate from logic. Idea number one does not have to touch idea number two. I am more dominant (if that is possible), and like to wave my dick around more when I feel challenged by another guy. I feel like I have to be in control, and have a hard time letting others have control of my actions. If I try to play less dominant, I get jittery and nervous energy. I get jealous a bit more quickly, but it doesn’t have an effect on my day-to-day life.
Thankfully, I do not have bad mood swings. Some guys on T can get them really bad, especially if there is pre-existing chronic depression. T is not a cure for mental illness and issues in your life already!
If any of my friends want to chime in on this, please do. You gotta remember, anonski, how I see myself is different from how other people see me, but I’m doing my best here.
Let me know if I uh, welp missed anything anonski.
Oh uh yeah sure.
All of my “bigger” stories (more than like 2k words) are going to be on AO3 now right here. For every other prompt I’ve done and story I’ve written, check this tag but it’s not all glee so be careful.
otp: boob grabbing 101 and the ship Amen (Amy/Lauren) comes from Kelsey’s Fanfic and not canon.
I like me a lot too man. Kelsey and I will run this fandom straight into the heavens CAN I GET AN AMEN
There is always room for mistakes because, yes, they are young. But when you develop characters and show them making mistakes and learning and set their personality strongly, you can’t just do whatever you want with them and expect people to buy into it.